My dad is now demanding rent for a place I live maybe two weekends out of the month. I was assigned less pools than last year and I won’t be making $6,000. I’ll be lucky to make over $4,000 before taxes. He wants me out by September and I don’t know what to do. I don’t have anywhere to live nor friends that would want to move in with me. He’s also demanding I pay for the car and my phone. There is no way in hell I can afford all this on minimum wage and going to school full time like he wants me to. I’m seriously starting to panic.

I’m just getting so freaking sick of Eryn’s way of being less aggressive then I am with the world. So we have church tomorrow right? So I go over to Gianni and Eryn who are watching the last episode of Season 5 after I asked her to not watch without me. That was season 3. Anyways, Gianni totally lies to my face about showering this morning and Eryn believes him since she wasn’t here this morning. I call him out on it and she is all “At least he is getting better.”
Um, no he’s not. He still sucks at showering. He sucks at basic hygiene. I’m painting his toenails in the morning of he hasn’t chopped them off.
Anyways I tell him to go shower and in her stupid ass calm voice that makes me watch to punch a baby, she tells me to calm down that he can do it later. Sorry, but mom put me in charge of everyone and shower means shower. They won’t listen to me and I’m pissed.
/ going to bed now

And my skill is stubbing the crap out of my poor toes. I don’t want to walk ever again.

opened and cleaned a pool today all before 9 am. I am so drop dead tired but for some odd reason I haven’t gone back to bed. Huh.

I really should get something to eat and go back to sleep.

And shower. I can already smell the chloramines on my body since I put my legs in the pool while waiting for it to fill.

Blurgh.

Did you know that if you smell chlorine in a pool it means that there isn’t enough chlorine in the pool? That’s why the pool itself never exactly smells like it, but you do after you get out. That’s the chloramines, or the used up chlorine. The more you know.

I was a little slow on the trigger and failed to avoid my mom and stepdad the moment they got inside. Usually I am downstairs before they can see me, but the internet was being slow and so I wasn’t able to avoid it. Go me.

So I make it downstairs only to get yelled at for avoiding the family. Just what I needed. My mom claims that Justin is ok with me, but I just want to call bullshit.

I have been yelled at several times for:

• parking in the driveway because Justin doesn’t like people parking too close to his car
• eating food that was bought especially for him
• being too loud (it was an inside voice) while he was trying to watch his basketball game

It just makes me not want to be here. I mean, I shouldn’t be comparing him to my step mom, but the first time we met, the first time, I had accidentally interrupted my dad’s date with her at his house and she asked me not to leave because she wanted to get to know me. And she legit sat down and got to know me. Afterwards, she asked for my number and texted me like crazy. She spent more time and effort to get to know me in one day than my step father has in two years.

I’m done being here. I hate it here at my mom’s. I really wish I could get a place of my own, but I can’t. I can’t afford any of it. Not with a minimum wage job and going to school full time. And no one wants to room with me. Who am I kidding. I’m the whiny bitch that is just a temporary friend. I feel like I’ve lost yet another batch of friends and no one cares.

I fucking can’t stand this anymore.

This girl~

winchesterguardianangel:

The day had been much of a blur. Castiel couldn’t remember much of the morning as he had been worken up early to get dressed and prepare the last of his bags for the trip he, his mother, and fiance were about to take. It was the maiden voyage of the Titanic and his family had booked several of the first class cabins to ride in complete luxury to New York City. It would be his first trip to America, but he did not wish to go. The entire trip to the dock his mother, Rachel, began to pester him and his attitude.

“Castiel, I will not have your pessimism ruining our trip,” she nagged at him as he looked out the window.

“I am not being pessimistic. I am just taking in my home before we leave,” was his soft reply. He was not the most social of men and it had been his one problem. His people skills weren’t exactly the best.

His mother sighed and pushed him to sit straight up. “You make it sound as if you will never see it again. We will be home before the month is up.”

No one in the automobile knew it, but it would be the last time Castiel would ever see his home country.

The boat was far more magnificent than the ads described it and pictures showed. The sheer size of it was astounding. Stepping out of the automobile and onto the deck, he wore a simple brown suit complete with a blue diamond necklace on his tie. He had bought it for his fiance, Meg, to wear, but she had insisted that it wasn’t her color and gave it back to him. Instead of taking it back, he wore it himself after he took a bit of a fancy to it. With his family’s servant in charge of the luggage, they walked to the first class boarding area. There was nothing about Castiel that made him stick out from the rest of the first class passengers. He was well dressed, well kept and looked the part very well. The only thing he didn’t have that the aristocracy did was social skills. The quiet man walked on board without much of a fuss.

Finding their rooms wasn’t much of a challenge either. A stewardess had been so kind to show them exactly where to go. He had his own cabin, separate from his mother’s and fiance’s. It was a very good thing as he could finally get that privacy that he had longed for since his engagement. 

“Castiel, come and escort me on deck,” Meg said as she entered his cabin, “We are about to depart and everyone is waving goodbye to the bystanders at the harbor.” 

With a gentlemanly grace that had been near pounded into him since birth, he allowed Meg to hold onto his arm as they walked to the deck. It was far more crowed than he thought it would be. Everyone was allowed on deck to wave farewell. Standing at the very top of the first class deck near the captain’s quarters, he held onto the rail with his free hand as the roar of the crowd exploded when the propellers started them on their way.

April 10th, 1912 felt like it would be the beginning to a wonderful time for most everyone on deck, except for Castiel. He was to be wed once they arrived. Wed to a woman he did not love. He did not love anyone else and found there was no use in resisting. If it was what his mother wanted, he would allow it. Allow her this happiness. 

As the deck cleared of the other passengers, he released himself from Meg’s grasp. “Would you kindly excuse me? I would like to take in the fresh air by myself.”

It wasn’t easy to see on her face that she was quite annoyed, the only hint being a slight curl of her lip. Annoyed and frustrated that her future husband would not include her in his life. But she nodded and left him. 

This was his first time alone from her in months, and it felt great. Walking down the highest deck, he reached the very end near the stern and leaned on the railing. His homeland was slowly getting smaller and smaller as they floated away. How much he just wanted to go back. But there was no chance of that now. That sad expression stayed on his face as he did not realize that he was in view of two third class passengers that were not allowed to be on the deck, unaware that one of them would change his life forever.

I’m so sick of being here. I’m so ready to go home.

/lays on floor to die

I’ve lost my headphones and part of me is starting to freak out. They are my good ones too. 

Blurgh.

for the first time, a guy has the same feelings back to me that I have for him.

George asked me over the phone today, because we are currently in two different states until the 27th, if I would do the honor of being his girlfriend. 

I said yes.

So we finally spilled to each other that we had liked each other for years and years and hadn’t said anything. 

So I am going to bed for the first time in my 21 years of life knowing that someone else not of family loves me back.

I feel blessed.